He loves you? He loves you not?

He's dated his fair share of women and has always enjoyed keeping his options open,but lately there's this one woman that has him wondering if she’s ‘the one.’ Here are the ways to know if you are ‘the one

He starts thinking about the future and you are in it 

It used to be that the future with a woman meant his date on Saturday night, but with you, the future seems infinite. Not only does he plan to see you this weekend, but he wants to see you a year from now as well. 

Other priorities take a back seat 
He used to train religiously, but lately, if you are free for dinner, he doesn’t mind missing a workout. His workaholic tendency of bringing work home at weekends to get ahead seems a bit excessive to him lately. 

He doesn’t mind compromising sometimes 
There was a time when it was his way, but with you it’s different. Not that you ask him to, but he doesn't mind missing a night out with the lads to be with you. And he finds himself trying to incorporate you into his plans or altering them to accommodate you. 

He loves spending time with you 
This one is obvious but important nonetheless. He looks forward to seeing you, and doesn’t care much about what the two of them will be doing. Lately, just going for a walk with you sounds like the best way he could spend an evening. 

He doesn't notice other women as much 
Did he see that gorgeous babe who just walked by? ‘No’? Although he can’t help noticing a beautiful woman when one walks by, when he’s in love, some of them tend to slip under the radar, while others just pale in comparison to you. Furthermore, he doesn't seem to be flirting half as much as he used to. 

You share a great chemistry 
He can’t be in love with someone that he has no chemistry with. If he seems to always be on the same wavelength, and think in similar ways, that’s a great sign. If you also generate enough heat to set off a fivealarm fire bell, then you are probably someone that he could fall in love with, if you aren't there already. 

He finds your quirks charming 
The fact that you carry your passport with you everywhere you go - just in case. You say things that make you different, and he likes it. He can't quite put his finger on why, but it doesn't even matter. He likes you just the way you are. 

He cares about you 
There is a reason why he doesn't really want to know too much about the girl he had a one-night stand with - he didn't love her. When he's in love with a woman, he wants to know all about her - who she is, what she thinks, what makes her laugh. He truly cares about her and his feelings. 

He can't stop thinking about you 
Instead, he is consumed by thoughts of you. You just pop into his head for no apparent reason, and he wonders if you think of him half as much as he thinks of you. He wonders what you are up to and even considers calling you. 

He's forgotten his ex 
More often than not, a break-up is followed by a significant amount of time spent thinking about his ex and wondering whether or not he made the right decision in going their separate ways. Depending on how long the two of them were together, these doubts can resurface again and again. Ever since he met you, the thought of getting back together with his ex is the farthest thing from his mind.

Relationship trends 2008....................

Ever wondered what is the passion mantra of couples who keep throwing suggestive glances at each other at social dos?

Well, they don't actually possess any magical potion, but keep their love quotient strong by making an extra effort to spice up their love formula. 

Today's hectic lifestyle demands more of everything - more money, more education and more efforts to keep the sparks alive in your relationship. We have heard about sensual lingerie, exotic aroma oils and aphrodisiacs; but there are a lot of other uncharted elements left to explore. 

We bring you the much-talked about relationship trends of 2008, which sometimes surprised and sometimes affirmed the age-old love beliefs... 

Live-ins: More girl power? 
The Protection of Women from Domestic Violence Act was amended to include protection for live-in partners from abuse. This time, the National Commission for Women has recommended that other sections of the law be changed to give greater protection to live-in partners in case their men leave them without any financial support. 

They have recommended that a live-in partner get maintenance if she can produce sufficient evidence of a 'long-term' relationship, and her status is at par with that of a wife. They have also recommended that adultery should no longer be grounds for denying maintenance. 

Intelligent men get the best sex 
When it comes to picking up a bed-mate, women prefer intelligent men to dumb jocks, according to a new study of hundreds of university students. The research led by Mark Prokosch, an evolutionary psychologist at Elon University in North Carolina suggests that women looking for both one-night stands and long-term relationships go for good looking and intelligent men. "Women want the best of both worlds. 

Not only a physically attractive man, but somebody in the long term who can provide for them," New Scientist quoted Prokosch, as saying. 

'Foreplay may be overrated' 
According to a study conducted on 2,360 Czech women, the act of foreplay is overrated. The study claims that when it comes to the likelihood of having an orgasm, foreplay has little or no significance. The research's findings suggest that sex therapists, who emphasise the value of foreplay, may have that been getting it wrong. 

However, if legends like Vatsayan are to be believed, for a sexual intercourse to be a perfect experience, a prolonged and sensual foreplay is most important. Since time immemorial, tales of making love have abounded with instances of immaculate foreplay that is considered to be the most fundamental part of best sex. 

Intimacy rules men's sex lives 
'Closeness' and 'intimacy' are the most valuable things in the sex lives of men, according to a global study. The survey involved more than 1,000 committed couples aged in mid-life or older, from the US, Spain, Japan, Germany and Brazil, reports the NZPA. They were asked about the importance of their relationship, sexual behaviour and the role of sex in the health and life satisfaction of men and women, independently. And men returned stereotype-busting results on the question of what they derived from sex.

Awkward sex encounters.................

When was the last time your boss walked in while you were all heated down under? Got scathing comments from your dad about your last night mushy talks with your beloved?

Or a curious auntyji caught you crossing limits under the staircase? Admit it, for it's something that's bound to happen. All of us have faced embarrassing sex moments that we would ideally like to forget. 

"Don't fret about imperfect moments in your sex life; just rejoice and hold your lover tight. Your ability to deal with embarrassing situations reflects the strength of your relationship. Real understanding is about being able to feel at ease with each other in awkward circumstances as well. Emotional presence and trust is the biggest aphrodisiac and the thrill can last a lifetime," explains Renu Rai, a psychatrist. 

We bring you a list of the most awkward sexual encounters and the ways you can avoid being caught... 

Your mom cancels her trip and comes back home : Ravi Sharma, a student, shares his experience, "My ex and I had planned for a steamy night once my parents left for an official trip abroad for three days. I wanted to make her feel special. My parent's bedroom was the spacious one, so I lit it up with candles and scented oils to create the perfect ambience for sex. In the attached bathroom, I prepared for a hot bubble bath together. The afternoon my parents left, my ex and I were in an over-the-session. We were busy in the bathroom when my mom and my aunt walked in on us in a compromising position. We were caught in an embarrassing embrace. My ex ran out with whatever clothes she could find, but post the episode my parents did not speak to me for four months." 

Expert talk : Pschologist, Poornima Sahni advises, "It's natural for young lovers to indulge in such activities in the heat of the moment. However, if you are caught, it is difficult to get over the shock. What is important is to keep in mind that when you are caught by your parents, they experience the same kind of disillusionment as you. So it is important to talk it out with your family in a free and frank manner. Initially there would be a lot of anger, but your persistence would pay off after sometime." 

Dad overhears your phone sex : Sandhya Singh, a call centre executive, speaks about the time when she was caught getting hot and dirty over the phone by her father. "I thought everyone at my home was asleep. So when my boyfriend called, I started talking to him and we were actually being quite explicit. Unfortunately my dad chose that moment to get up for a drink of water. And I never realised that he was overhearing our candid conversation, until he made some sound to alert me about his presence. I just wanted to die that very moment." 

Expert talk : According to Sahni, phone sex isn't a good idea. "Having phone sex can be quite thrilling, but you are making yourself vulnerable to a lot of things. It's not just about your parents, but about your dignity. The guy/girl you are talking to may just record the conversation and circulate it amongst their peers. So in that case it's just not about you, but also about your family. And most likely your parents are bothered about that more. So, its best to use a little thought before doing these things."

Intimacy in office,...............(Romance at workplace? Watch out!)

In a bid to climb the corporate ladder and get ahead in the 'rat race', new age executives spend a lot of time at work than at home. Most workplaces have emerged as a 'second home' and thus even as an 'unofficial' dating destination.

Office romance may seem to be thrilling and even bring back the zing into your dull and monotonous life at times, but how smart is it to display your affection at the workplace? Whether it is a man/woman you are dating or your spouse who is working in the same organisation, where should you draw the line? Can office romances also affect your career? We explore... 

· Ruining work place ethics? 
Acknowledging that it is normal to get attracted to a colleague, most offices do not view dating as non-permissible. However, a vast majority of companies have a stringent policy disallowing spouses to work in the same organisation. So, before you get romantically involved at the workplace, it's essential to know your company's policies regarding the same. 

So if you thought public display of affection was alright at the workplace, think again. Harsha Choubey (name changed on request) , a human resource professional working in Noida relates, "We have often received complaints of a couple who were spotted cuddling and smooching in the isolated areas of the office. Despite several warnings, they didn't take it seriously. We were left with no choice but to sack them for not adhering to the work place ethics." 

"Our company has a policy which doesn't allow spouses to work in the same organisation as there are chances of confidential information being leaked out or the code of conduct being violated. We have occasionally come across complaints of employees indulging in undesirable activities at the workplace. In minor cases, we usually warn employees to refrain from such activities within the office premises and in extreme cases we need to fire the employees," says Reena Agarwal, a human resource professional with a multi-national company in Delhi. 

· Prioritising is vital 
If you don't want your love life to get in the way of your career goals, it's important to prioritise between work and romance. Often, flings at the workplace are a major source of distraction and may even hamper your career. So, don't let your love life take a toll on your career or keep you from meeting deadlines and attending important tasks. You can be friendly with your partner at the workplace, and have other friends too, without putting yourself or your job in jeopardy. 

Suresh Sinha (name changed on request), head of a leading manufacturing firm in Mumbai adds, "My subordinate was having an affair with a girl in the same office. He was an outstanding performer when he had joined. Eventually, he started ignoring work and missing deadlines. I personally tried to explain to him not to let his personal life hamper with his career, but it didn't help much. I firmly believe that office is a place to work and not a dating club. Even if you do, it shouldn't come in the way of your professional commitments." 

Vikram Prasad (29) could not agree more, "I was working as a sales manager in Pune a few years ago and going steady with a girl from the same office. We were together for two years before we broke up. I was shattered and uncomfortable being around her in the same office. My friends in office who knew about our relationship were inquisitive about why we broke up and kept asking me embarassing questions. The girls also started bad mouthing me openly. These incidents made my life miserable." Prasad soon moved base to Mumbai and settled down for a lesser paying job to get rid of the situation.

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Decode your lover's body language..............

No matter where you bump into your eye candy - at a friend's house, at a bar, a restaurant or even in the midst of a crowded market, the questions remain the same: "What on Earth is he/she thinking? Does he/she really like me? Do I stand a chance?"

But do you know that men and women both are pre-programmed to send out physical clues when they're interested in the opposite sex? A huge advantage of becoming aware of your love interest's body language is that you can now read her mind and predict their next move. Here's how you can understand body language clues... 

Her Body 
Eye Contact : It all starts with an eye lock, doesn't it? Eyes telegraph unspoken messages and the female species definitely knows how to use this part of their body to their advantage. "I use this trick when I want to attract a guy's attention and no matter how clichéd it sounds, this trick always works!" says Sunaina Sharma, a student. "My first interaction with my wife started through eye contact. She was sitting with her friends on a staircase in college and I was a newcomer. It won't be wrong to say that she literally used her eyes as weapons to trap the prey (me)!" shares Prabhu a corporate executive. 

Hot tip : "An eye contact can vary from curiosity, cool assessment to a coy interest in someone. When a girl makes eye contact that lasts longer than a furtive glance, it is a positive move on her part. If a girl looks deeply into a guy's eyes, she's telling him that he's the most charming person in the room. However, a full frontal stare is risky. It may come across as too bold to those men who get freaked out by direct behavior by a woman," says Dr. Upadhyaya. 

Exposing : Yes, we know that most women love indulging in skin show, but here we're talking about a particular area: their long and smooth neck. "There was a girl in my office who was infamous for indulging in sex talks with male colleagues. She would always sit with her hair on one side of her shoulder, revealing her slender and perfumed neck. In fact, some of her friends told me once that she purposely did this as she felt it made her look sexy and was a nice way of luring someone for dirty talks," reveals Shailja Thakur, a business analyst. 

Hot tip : "When you're reading a woman's body gestures, observe if she tosses her hair over one shoulder frequently. If your answer is in the affirmative, then be assured that the lady has fallen hard for you," says Dr. Akhouri. "It's an indirect act of submission and it not only exposes your neck, but also screams for attention," he adds. 

Leg Crossing : The next time you get the chance to sit with your eye candy, observe her leg movements very carefully. While crossing her legs, if her top leg always points in your direction, treat it as a win-win situation. "I personally feel that a woman's whole personality changes as soon as she crosses her legs... it creates a goddess-like aura around her. On my last date, the girl sat with her legs crossed sexily all through the date and occasionally rubbed her thighs. Not only did I got broad hints, but it also was a big turn on for me," says Manu Vohra, a marketing manager. 

Hot tip : According to Dr. Upadhyaya., "Leg crossing is suggestive of a nervous or provocative gesture. Often, woman can't help crossing their legs in front of the guy they have the hots for. It is a subconscious gesture that clearly says a man is getting on to her."

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Play a seductress for your man!

Seducing your man is only just about any one principle. More than your technique of seduction, it's your attitude that makes the final cutWhat all you really need is to be able to arrest his attention and his body is all yours. You need not be a hot babe to seduce your guy, just try to keep your approach right.

To make your man desire you, remember that actions speak more than words, so let your body do the talking and your man will definitely skip a heartbeat seeing you in your new avatar. 

Take the lead 
Men love to be dominated in bed. So if not always, then once in a while take up the task of leading the action in bed and initiating the intimacy. If your guy loves to see your wild side then there is no better way than this technique. 

Neha Tyagi, a house wife says, "I gave my man a surprise call in office and in a passionate voice I whispered that a sexy surprise awaited him at night at home. Then I left a note at the doorstep which declared, 'beware of the tigress' that I wanted him to find minutes before he stepped into the main doorway. I slipped into some revealing, lacy lingerie and lit up the bedroom using fragrant candles, rose petals and some instrumental music. Already expectant with the hints that I had dropped throughout the day, he entered the bedroom with a lot of expectations. My killing looks, a heady embrace and a wet kiss left him breathless and raring to go. I was pleasantly surprised to see my man enjoy me take the lead even in foreplay as I blind-folded him and seduced him." 

Sexual chemistry is a vital element of any healthy relationship and it's not always fair to blame your male companion for not putting in enough efforts and being unadventurous. Sudhanshu Kapoor, a banker says, "Men usually take care of their partner's pleasure, but it should be the same for the fairer sex. If we talk about equality in all spheres of life, what's the problem if we expect our partners to be adventurous in bed?" 

Expert Tip: Dr Sameer Parikh, psychiatrist opines, "Most of the men look forward to a women who is a perfect blend of a tigress and a kitten. You have to learn to manipulate the imagination of your man. Men are really fond of women who are self confident seductress, who know what they want and how to get it. The idea is not to reach an orgasm only but to attain a feeling of contentment. That can only be done by taking care of your partner's needs." 

Massage message 
After a stressful day in office, lovemaking maybe the last thing on your guys' mind. And if he does indulge in sex, it may be more of a physical routine for him that may leave you high and dry. If you expect an exciting foreplay session before sex, then your man also deserves to be pampered.

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